Humor in Politics

Writer’s Block.

Working on three articles about politics and spirit, and nothing is coming together neatly.

It’s complicated… hard to get to the root of the matter.

Hopefully this weekend I’ll have something to post…..

Meanwhile, some political humor:

“All over the world people are chanting, ‘Death to America.’ Except in China, where they’re chanting, ‘Not until we get our money back.'” –Jay Leno

“Arnold Schwarzenegger has written a new book about his affair with his Hispanic housekeeper, and the book is called ‘Total Recall.’ In response, she’s written a book about their affair called ‘Alien vs. Predator.'” –Conan O’Brien

“It’s Opening Day of the U.N in New York…Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is here. He says he hates gay people and he hates Jews. Boy is he in the wrong town.” –David Letterman

“There are reports that nine of the hotels being used for politicians at the Democratic National Convention have bedbugs. When asked what it’s like to have to deal with thousands of ruthless bloodsuckers, the bedbugs were like, ‘Eh, it’s OK.'” –Jimmy Fallon

“This year the theme of the Republican convention is ’50 Shades of White.'” –David Letterman

“They’re now worried that Tropical Storm Isaac could hit Florida during next week’s Republican convention. But Florida is ready for it. Thanks to President Obama’s economic policies, many businesses down there are already boarded up.” –Jay Leno

“It seems the GOP has placed 13,000 umbrellas in bins outside the hall for people to use. Delegates can’t bring them inside for security reasons, so after you use the umbrella, you drop it off for the next person to use. That sounds like creeping socialism.” –Jay Leno

“Police in Florida have arrested a man who said he finally achieved his goal of shoplifting in all 50 states. You know what you call someone who steals from all 50 states? A congressman.” –Jay Leno

“It was a great Olympics – Team USA finished the games with 17 more medals than China. China said it was tough to swallow – especially when they had to make all of our “We’re #1” T-shirts.” –Jimmy Fallon

“The U.S. is leading China in both number of gold medals and number of total medals. In response, China said that’s nice but we still have all your money.”

“An American judo fighter was expelled from the Olympics after testing positive for marijuana. Officials became suspicious when he kept stopping the match and saying, ‘What are we fighting for, man?'” –Conan O’Brien

“Why don’t they allow professional wrestling at the Olympics? They allow pro basketball players and hockey players. Olympic pro wrestling would be awesome. The team from Mexico could wear those Mr. X masks. The French wrestler could hit his opponent with a baguette. Or perhaps just surrender.” –Craig Ferguson

“Saudi Arabia’s first female athlete will be allowed to compete while wearing a head scarf. The Saudi woman said she was thrilled about the ruling all she needs now is a man to drive her to the Olympics.” –Conan O’Brien

“Senior Citizens Day was made official by President Reagan in 1988 to recognize the contributions the elderly do for this country. It’s a special holiday to remind them they are indeed old.” –Jimmy Kimmel

Further Reading:

Politics and the Human Spirit series

Best and worst countries to be born  –   Election fraud 2012  –   Best and worst US presidents  –  Humor in politics  –  Biggest political news –  End of the American dream  –  Blown to bits in the computer age  –  Standards, the key to peace  –   What Obama and Stalin really have in common   –  Bad counsel and a short leash   –   Capital punishment & the human spirit   –  Edward Snowden and a transparent world